For those who understand or care enough, that’s bound to happen. Just stay put. She’ll get around some time. Don’t take it too personally although that would be hard not to do. People like that just requires a hell lot of understanding and patience.
Intelligent people with fucked up emotions.
I don’t really get it why people are afraid of me, friends, family and strangers alike. I’m quite aware of the fact that I hate people most of the time but come on, I don’t bite. I might not be the best person to approach when you’re lost in the middle of nowhere or someone to interrupt just to kill boredom but I’m not actually going to kill you if you did. I might not tolerate nonsense most of the time or appear crabby when someone approaches me but truth be told, I’m more scared of people than I let on. Sure, it doesn’t seem like it but that’s my defense mechanism. I’ll warm up to humanity sooner or later. Just don’t irrirate me too much before that. I might do something reckless but I’m not usually bad tempered enough to let that happen.
“
I am a hard person to love but when I love, I love really hard.
Tupac Shakur (via ruthless-villain)
(Source: seductionisdestruction, via kushandwizdom)
failed confessions: failed 1000th and 1001th post.
I deleted something. Stupid of me. Okay. I that’s probably the sign that I should sleep now. My brain can go on 24 hours but my body is pretty much ready to collapse any moment.
1001th Post: Another Confession
1000th post is private for the sake of my sanity but here is another part of it. That was my life’s irony. Now, I’ll post about the situation. Honestly, I can’t snap out of it. I can’t find my strength that I used to have. I can’t go back and I’m having a hard time creating a new path to lead me there. Basically, I’m stuck. I’m trying really. The only problem is that I know I’m not trying hard enough. Just like I said, I’m scared. To hell, I think I said more than enough now, I’m considering to make this one private again.
05-20-13
First time ko pumunta ng LB mag-isa kanina. Nakakawindang kasi usually sumusunod lang ako kung saan dumadaan si mama tapos lagi akong lutang kapag naglalakad kaya ayun, minsan lumalagpas ako sa dapat kong daanan. Ansaya lang kasi nakasurvive ako. Tapos yung tipong buti na lang windang din yung mga nag-aasikaso ng sa STFAP kasi seryosong tulog pa utak ko kaninang umaga. Kinakabahan tuloy ako sa itsura ng id ko kasi id picture yung pinuntahan ko after ko sa STFAP. Adventure kung adventure kasi inabutan pa ako ng ulan tapos nag-shopping ng “uniform” ko sa pasukan. Kapagod. Five thousand years pa man din aabutin bago ako makapagdecide kung anong bibilhin tapos ambilis ko pa madistract at tamarin tumingin then babalik ulit ako sa lugar na yun after a few minutes. May emergency pa kanina kasi kinain ng zipper yung tela ng bag eh nasa loob yung wallet ko. Antagal ko tuloy sa foodcourt para maayos yung bag ko eh milktea lang naman iniinom ko. So ayun, wala na akong pera, pagod ako sagad sa bones at maglalaba ulit ako para mabili ko yung isang shirt kanina na ansarap iyakan.
Adventure tomorrow. Punta ng LB mag-isa. The more na naiinis ako ngayong gabi, the more akong natatakot para bukas. I don’t know why. Loser ko eh halos every week ko naman gagawin sa pasukan yung gagawin ko bukas eh. Might as well start habang bakasyon pa. Pero seriously, medyo napaparanoid na ako para bukas. Pag di na ako nagpost dito ever, ibig sabihin di na ako naka-uwi ng buhay. Goodluck sakin -__-‘
“
We must not expect happiness, Sayuri. It is not something we deserve. When life goes well, it’s a sudden gift. It cannot last forever.
Chairman, Memoirs of a Geisha(Movie)
(Source: dakilang-tamad)
Just unearthed an awesome blog and I’m reading wide-eyed, tearful and totally freaked out. I’m still not sure if I would squeal, cry or shout. It’s that awesome.
